katherineobscura:

Guys be like “don’t wear leggings if you don’t got no ass” and I see you bitches walking around in muscle shirts without any muscles so pipe the fuck down

(via lukaseeron)

WHERE ARE MY ORGASMS?!?!

I’ve been ignoring my fuck buddies for months now because they’re just not doing it for me. Like, I’m tasty, how could you not become hooked. It’s just that I refuse to live an orgasmless sex life forever! Yes, that’s right… I’ve never fucked someone that could present me with a big O. From now on I’m screening applicants and calling references. I won’t bother my punani with mediocrity any longer. Byeeeeeee.

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